


Coffee Breath

by darcyland



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Darcy Lewis, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Darcy Lewis Has ADHD, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Lesbian Natasha Romanov, Lesbian Wanda Maximoff, Mental Health Issues, No Smut, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Pietro Maximoff, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, because idk how to write that also i dont want to, past Darcy Lewis/Wanda Maximoff, they broke up but they're still besties/work wives yay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29661924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darcyland/pseuds/darcyland
Summary: “Small coffee, black.”These are the three simple words that had been scribbled in blue across Darcy’s left wrist for twenty-six years, in the cramped capital-letter handwriting of the person that she had been not-so-patiently waiting to meet for just as long.In hindsight, it may have been either the best or worst idea to take a job where she heard her own words a dozen times on a daily basis.OR: the wintershock coffee shop/soulmate au that the world needs right now
Relationships: Darcy Lewis & Pietro Maximoff, James "Bucky" Barnes/Darcy Lewis, Minor Wanda Maximoff/Natasha Romanov - Relationship
Comments: 62
Kudos: 97





	1. Small Coffee, Black

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Welcome to the first fic I've written since my wattpad days in the seventh grade. I'm really excited for this and thank you so much for reading <3
> 
> This is mostly planned out but I'm not quite sure how long it'll be, I'll probably update at least once a week though.
> 
> Also- a content warning for mental illness, all depictions of mental health problems are based entirely on my own experience, this is really just me projecting on to my comfort characters
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> PS: I have a playlist that I will be updating along with the fic, you can listen here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7eGCBJsUqvFqLUNDhWCNhr?si=prQRZ6vIR3OP0upqKXXCNw
> 
> and if you don't have spotify but still want to listen, the song for this chapter is silly girl by chloe moriondo :)

Darcy Lewis has a lot going on. Getting her PhD in astrophysics at Columbia, going on four years of being Jane’s usually unpaid intern, and working thirty hours a week as a barista at Wanda and Pietro’s coffee shop to pay off her already heavy student loans. She hardly has time for romance, and she had a bit of a rude awakening after Wanda met her soulmate, Natasha, and broke up with Darcy. It was amicable, they were still pretty close friends as far as exes go, but she did realize that relationships are awfully hard when the both of you are waiting for someone else to come along. Thus, her recent infatuation with soulmates and words.

In hindsight, it may have been either the best or worst idea to take a job where she heard her own words a dozen times on a daily basis. For this very reason, she tried to come up with a cute and creative response every time she heard them, though it got difficult after a while. 

Still, Darcy remained hopeful. The idea of one person being perfect for her, and the knowledge that one day she’d find that person, was comforting. Even if that person did have the single most boring coffee order in the world.

She’d spend countless hours daydreaming about them, how they’d look, what they’d like, just how many cats they would be willing to adopt with her. There wasn’t much wiggle room on the ‘how,’ but her imagination still ran wild. Her favorite fantasy started off much like this day: mid-morning on a rainy Saturday, Darcy standing behind the cash register. The bell on the front door jingles and she glances up to see her soulmate run in, escaping the cold. Their eyes meet, and for just a moment, the rest of the world slips away. Then-

“Hey! Darcy! Wake up.”

She snapped out of her daydream to see Wanda waving a hand in front of her face. “Shit, sorry.” Darcy gestured at her head. “Space cadet!”

Wanda gave her a soft smile and put a hand on Darcy’s shoulder. “Welcome back. Don’t worry about it.” 

Darcy smiled back and turned her attention to the customer on the other side of the counter as Wanda walked past her into the back room. 

She took their order, and once they had walked away, sighed. She had the strangest feeling in her gut that she just couldn’t shake, and that damn soulmate fantasy wouldn’t get out of her head either. 

Suddenly, the bell jingled and she looked up at a man quickly coming in with his head down. The feeling in her gut grew stronger as he noticed her, immediately making eye contact. Their eyes met, and for just a moment, the rest of the world slipped away.

Holy shit.

This had to be it, right? There’s no way it’s a coincidence that this is exactly what she’d been quite literally dreaming of for months. He was her soulmate, she could feel it.

Before she could even take a breath, a couple other customers lined up, forcing them to break eye contact. She had lost her view of him when he got in line behind the others, but she still felt eyes on her. After a few minutes and a few orders taken as fast as she possibly could, he was right in front of her. The feeling spread to her chest as they stared at each other.

Finally, he spoke.

“Small coffee, black.”

She could feel her heartbeat triple. 

Small coffee, black. These are the three simple words that had been scribbled in blue across Darcy’s left wrist for twenty-six years, in the cramped capital-letter handwriting of the person that she had been not-so-patiently waiting to meet for just as long. 

Once again, holy shit. 

She blinked and smiled brightly before responding to the person who is probably, definitely, maybe her soulmate. Cute and creative, right? Enough that he’d recognize the words, but not so much that she’d come off as weird.

“Coming right up, soldier! What’s the name?”

Darcy watched him as his eyes widened, visibly shaken by what she had said, the optimistic side of her hoping that meant those were his words. That is, until he looked away from her and back down at his shoes, as her smile began to fade.

Stumbling over his words, he replied, “Buck- er- uh- James. James.”

Heart beginning to sink, she swallowed, deciding not to mention it. Maybe she didn’t say his words. Maybe the odd reaction was just because he’s socially awkward, or doesn’t know how to talk to girls or something. “Alright then, James. For here or to-go?”

A little too quickly, he answered, “For here.” 

Uncomfortably excited over someone who was apparently not her soulmate choosing to sit inside instead of walking out into the pouring rain, she smiled again. “Great! That’s two dollars even. Sit wherever you’d like.”

James pulled two dollar bills from a worn out leather wallet and handed them to her with a muttered “Thanks,” before stuffing his hands in his pockets and walking away to take a seat in the corner.

As he turned away, her heart practically fell to the floor, and the feeling in her gut had only gotten worse. “Fuck.” she whispered to herself, resting her elbows on the counter with her face in her hands. 

Peeking through her fingers at him, she sees he’s pulled out a paperback book. “And he likes to read? Fuck. I like to read,” she began rambling to herself, “We both like to read and drink coffee, we should totally be soulmates. We could read and drink coffee together! Hear that, universe? This is a real missed opportunity in the love department.” She continued to mumble about love and reading and James, directed at no one in particular - except maybe the universe - for a few minutes until she realized she was getting stares and quickly straightened up, turning around to take a breath and wipe away a few stray tears.

“Way to get your hopes up, Darcy. Nice one.”


	2. What's the Name?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's song is a soulmate who wasn't meant to be by jess benko :)
> 
> also- bucky is kind of an unreliable narrator here, his thoughts about himself and mental illness are purely his own thoughts - if you're living with mental illness i promise you are not a burden & you are loved/deserve to be loved <3

Bucky Barnes doesn’t have a whole lot going on. Well - sort of. Sure, he doesn’t leave his apartment or sleep or eat or socialize or work or really do much of anything anymore, and one might look at that and say he’s got nothing going on. Emotionally, though, that’s a different story. Really the most effective way to describe it is that he feels like he’s drowning in quicksand and there’s nothing he can do, no one there with a rope to pull him out. 

Steve, his best friend since childhood, tries to help, though his version of a rope is more like reminders to shower and eat, as well as weekly check-ins to make sure Bucky is alive and all that. The help is appreciated, but Bucky can smell pity from a mile away, and that’s the last thing he wants. Purely out of pride, he’d rather be alone than be pitied. Alas, nothing could come between Steve Rogers and mother-henning, so Bucky just let the coddling happen. Still, he was alone most of the time, leaving him with monotonous days stretching together, no clear end in sight.

He almost felt bad for his soulmate, having to get stuck with him. The violet words on his right forearm gave the impression that his soulmate was kind, bubbly, even happy. Overall, not somebody who would want to deal with him.

The whole ‘severe anxiety and depression’ thing usually kept Bucky holed up at home like that, but one day was different. He woke up at ten am on a Saturday with an unexplainable urge to walk out into forty degree weather and go wherever his feet took him. So he did, and it felt good. Three blocks out, it began raining hard, but he wasn’t ready to return home just yet, so he quickly ducked into a coffee shop nearby. Walking into the half-empty cafe, he took in his cozy surroundings - large couches, soft rugs, slightly overgrown plants, armchairs pulled up to round tables. A gorgeous brunette at the cash register. 

She looked up at him and their eyes caught. They stared at each other for seconds that felt like hours, until a short line formed in front of her, forcing her to break eye contact.

A bit shaken, Bucky took a deep breath and stepped into line. He didn’t even want coffee, but he figured it would be weird to just come in and sit down without ordering anything. A couple minutes later, he stepped up to order. Finding himself now mere feet away from the girl - Darcy, he realized, glancing at her name tag - he swallowed as she looked up at him with bright eyes and a hopeful smile. Mouth suddenly dry, he ordered the first thing he could think of.  
“Small coffee, black.”

For whatever reason, her smile grew even more, and they both were silent for a moment until she replied with -

“Coming right up, soldier! What’s the name?”

Those words, his words, the seven fateful words he both loved and dreaded. Bucky lost his breath for a moment, Darcy’s expression remaining optimistic. Okay, so they’re soulmates. If she knew, she hadn’t said anything, so he could still spare her. She’d probably heard those words a thousand times just this week. He knew it was wrong to lie about this, but it would be selfish to stick her with a borderline hermit carrying enough baggage to bring down a plane. Or would it be more selfish not to tell her? Oh god, he’d been thinking about this way too long. He could still play it off as just being awkward, right? 

Trying and failing to throw off the initial shock, he ducked his head and averted his eyes, but not before seeing her face fall and hearing her draw in a shaky breath. He felt a sharp pang in his chest, but managed to force out a response.

“Buck- er- uh- James. James.”

James? No one, with the exception of his very dead grandmother, called him James. Why the hell did he say James?

Her brow furrowed a bit, apparently just as confused as he was. “Alright then James, for here or to-go?”

He’d lost his mind. He must have actually gone insane, or been possessed, or gotten an inexplicable head injury because that is the only possible explanation for what he blurted out in response.

“For here.”

Her face lit up again, though her eyes remained sad. “Great! That’s two dollars even. Sit wherever you like.”

“Thanks.” 

He paid and got as far away from her as he possibly could, making a beeline for the corner. “Fuck,” Bucky mumbled as he settled into a chair where he could only see her peripherally. “This can’t be good.” 

Pulling out a book but not being able to read more than the same five words for a few minutes, he looked around to see Darcy walking towards him, mug in hand. He froze momentarily as she set the mug down on the table in front of him and pulled a muffin seemingly out of nowhere to put next to it. 

“Muffin’s on the house! I hope you like blueberry.”

When he did nothing more than stare at the food in front of him, she continued. “The Maltese Falcon, huh?” She gestured at his book. “That’s like, my favorite book!”

Clearing his throat, he replied softly. “Me too.”

“I guess we have great taste.”

After another painful moment of awkward silence, Darcy spoke again. “Well, I should probably get back to work, so… yeah. It was nice to meet you. Oh, I’m Darcy, by the way. But you probably knew that,” she said, looking down at her name tag. “Because of the name tag. Okay, um, yeah, enjoy the... stuff!” She quickly nodded and turned around.

“Oh my god,” Bucky overheard her whisper to herself as she walked back to the register. Oh my god is right, he thought. He could never, ever come back to this coffee shop. For her sake, of course.


	3. Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy takes a risk and Bucky has Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the songs for this chapter are coffee by beabadoobee (thematically appropriate) and all the lonely nights in your life by american pleasure club!
> 
> and sorry in advance for the Emotions

James came back to the coffee shop the next day, and the day after that, and then every day after that, ten-thirty sharp. Every day, he would order a small black coffee, read in the corner chair, and eat the muffin Darcy gave him. He didn’t talk much, but his presence alone brightened up Darcy’s days without fail, although she wasn’t quite sure why. 

Okay, so maybe she was breaking her rule about dating anyone other than her soulmate not even six months after making it, but James felt special. So what if they weren’t soulmates? No one tells Darcy Lewis what to do, most definitely not the universe. She was also getting way ahead of herself, they’d hardly spoken and he might not even be that into her. But what does she have to lose? One customer, maybe, and she could live without those two dollars a day. On the other hand, she really didn’t want to stop seeing James. Regardless, after two weeks of little more interaction than quick smiles and small talk, she took the risk, making the decision to woman up and actually speak to him.

Darcy had a plan. Kind of. Earlier that morning, she had explained the whole situation to Wanda, asking if she could go on break early to talk to James. Seeming nearly as invested as Darcy, and Wanda, always happy to play matchmaker, agreed. 

When ten-thirty rolled around, James walked in as usual, shyly asking for a small black coffee as if Darcy didn’t already know his order.

Now came the hard part: attempting to have a conversation with him. She was usually a social butterfly, never having much trouble talking to guys- girls were a different story- but this was something else entirely. Their interactions felt important, like a test she couldn’t afford to fail. 

“Come on, you absolute smokeshow. You got this. He’d be an idiot not to love you,” Darcy cheered on her reflection in a steel coffee machine while she prepared his order. “But maybe he is an idiot,” she continued, half believing herself. “Oh god. Okay, shut up, you’re fine.” Once the mug filled up, she took a deep breath, grabbed the nicest looking muffin from the display case, and began walking over to his table. 

“Hi!”

Darcy hadn’t planned for this part, figuring her natural wit and charm and stuff would take control. No such luck. She set his order down, hearing a soft “Thank you,” followed by a nearly unintelligible “Hi.”

“Can I sit here?”

Might as well cut straight to the chase, then. She watched as his eyes darted to the door. “Um…” 

And then it started hailing. Like, a lot. Chunks of ice falling down from the sky, hitting pedestrians left and right. When was the last time it hailed in Brooklyn? 

James looked back up at her and replied, “Sure.” Maybe the universe was on her side after all. 

She grinned and settled into the chair across from him. “So how are you?”

“Not bad. You?”

Good. This was good so far, right? “That’s good. And I’m good.”

“Good.”

They stared at each other in silence for a few moments before Darcy cleared her throat and spoke. “So, what are you reading today?”

He picked up the book in front of him, showing her the cover, and she leaned over to read the title. “Frankenstein, nice! I just read that last week.”

James tilted his head the slightest bit, mouth twitching up. “It’s a classic.”

\-----------------

She’s amazing. This is terrible. Beautiful, smart, kind, overall perfect. They even have the exact same taste in books, not to mention the part where they’re soulmates, she has no idea, and she’s still voluntarily spending time with him. No matter how hard he tries, Bucky cannot stay away from Darcy for the life of him. Every day, he tells himself he isn’t going to see her, and every day, he finds himself back at that damn coffee shop. 

“Who’s your favorite author?”

“Huh?” Bucky snapped out of his thoughts.

Darcy repeated herself, “Who’s your favorite author?”

“Um, well, that’s kind of a tough question; I have a lot of favorites.”

She nodded. “That makes sense. My current favorite is Jamie Burke.” 

Bucky nearly choked on his coffee when she said that; not quite because there was anything particularly wrong with liking Jamie Burke, but because he was Jamie Burke, and this girl couldn’t like him.

See, Bucky had always liked to read, and in the ninth grade, a teacher discovered that he was really good at writing as well. Really good, as in, exceptional. Naturally, his parents were ecstatic about this development and began entering him into contests, which he was winning left and right. Pretty soon, they even managed to get his stories published. 

The issue with being exceptional, though, is that it tends to bring a lot of attention, and that was the last thing Bucky wanted, but he didn’t want to stop writing either. Thus, the invention of Jamie Burke, his pen name. Close enough to his real name so that it wouldn’t be impersonal, but androgynous, and different enough so that it wouldn’t bring the name Bucky Barnes to mind.

No one knew his real identity other than his publisher, his mom, and Steve, so there was no way Darcy knew, right?

Pushing out a response, Bucky stammered, “Oh- uh, cool, what’s your favorite of theirs?”

“Probably The Widow’s Sanctuary, I just really connect with the message, you know?”

‘Yeah, I do know, considering I wrote the damn thing,’ he thought as he nodded in response.

“I really love all the books though,” she continued, “I’ve read them like, a thousand times, and I have first editions of every one, and oh god, sorry, I’m rambling. I just really like books.”

Shit, she was a fan. Maybe she did know who he was; had she been stalking him or something? He’d been so careful with keeping it a secret, but it’s still possible, maybe she got to his publisher or-

“I just think it’s so amazing and inspiring when a female author becomes so massively successful like that, and it’s so cool how she’s stayed anonymous this whole time.”

Never mind then, she was way off base. Again, an androgynous name, along with the fact that there was virtually no public information about Jamie had the added benefit of letting people draw their own- often wrong- conclusions about him.

“James? Are you okay?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry, just zoned out for a second. Yeah, I love Jamie too.”

Liar.

“That happens to me all the time, I’m a bit of a space cadet. Is it ADHD for you too?”

“Not quite.” Space cadet. She’s adorable.

“Shit, sorry, I don’t mean to pry. Sometimes I just talk before I think, which you’ve probably noticed by now and… yeah, bad habit.”

“It’s okay. I guess I think too much and don’t talk enough.”

“Yeah, you’re a bit of a quiet one. I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with that. I think it’s cute.”

Bucky looked down and smiled just the slightest bit. She called him cute. This is terrible. She’s amazing. 

She spoke again, fidgeting with her hands that had been resting in her lap. “So, um, what are you up to today?”

“A friend is coming over to my place, I’m going to be pretty busy.” It wasn’t entirely a lie, he was seeing Steve that day, but the only thing he’d be busy with is dodging calls from his publisher and convincing his friend that ‘he’s fine, really.’ But what was he supposed to say? ‘Oh yeah, my schedule is all filled up, what with my friend coming over to make sure I’m not dead, not to mention the hours of staring at an empty notepad attempting to break my months-long streak of writer’s block.’

Seeming a little let down, she replied “Oh, uh, same here. You know, school and stuff.” She suddenly looked away from him and over to the counter. He followed her gaze to see an auburn-haired girl waving her over.  
She turned back to him and smiled. “Well, it’s been lovely talking to you, but I unfortunately have to get back to work. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Bucky nodded, and her smile grew. She stood up, and as she walked past him, put a hand on his shoulder for a fraction of a second. It was the first time they’d touched, and it felt like electricity was running through his veins, his soulmark practically buzzing. Glancing back at Darcy, he saw that she was now looking a little bewildered, whispering back and forth with the girl that had waved at her. As he turned away from her and towards the window, he noticed that it had stopped hailing, so he downed the rest of his now lukewarm coffee, grabbed the uneaten muffin, and quickly walked out into the cold.

A few hours later, Bucky was lying in bed, Darcy still on his mind, when he heard a knock at his door. Steve. “Be out in a minute,” Bucky shouted, rolling out of his messy bed. When he opened the door, he saw Steve, holding a bag of what appeared to be groceries.

He looked down at the bag, then up at Steve again. “That’s really not necessary.” 

“It is and you know it.”

“Fine, fine, thank you,” Bucky sighed, stepping back to let in his friend, who immediately made a beeline for the kitchen. 

“So what’s been going on? I haven’t seen you in a while,” said Steve, unpacking the groceries.

“Not much.”

Steve looked back up at him with an eyebrow raised. “Really?”

Bucky sighed again. “You know me too well. There’s kind of a lot going on.”

“Do tell.”

“Alright, so you’re going to hate me for not telling you this sooner but… I kind of met my soulmate.”

Steve nearly dropped the carton of eggs he was holding. Grinning, he ran over to Bucky and hugged him. “Really? Who? What are they like? When did you meet them? When can I meet them?” He continued to ramble in excitement, hands on Bucky’s shoulders, eggs forgotten. “Wait, why aren’t you smiling? What’s wrong? Oh my god, did they die? I’m so sorry-”

“Steve! Steve, calm down, nobody died.”

“Oh thank god. But really, what’s going on? Tell me everything.”

He knows this isn’t going to go well, telling Steve that he met his soulmate and they don’t even know it; but there’s nothing Bucky is worse at and hates more than lying to his best friend. He always figures it out and gives him his signature ‘Steve Rogers Is Disappointed In You’ face.

Dragging him over to the couch, Bucky sits them both down and takes a breath. “Okay, so it was two weeks ago-”

“TWO WEEKS? You met your soulmate TWO ENTIRE WEEKS AGO and you didn’t tell me?”

“Yeah, um, it kind of gets worse,” Bucky said, and Steve raised his eyebrows. How is he supposed to explain this without sounding like a complete dumbass?

“Two weeks ago, I went to this little coffee shop a few blocks away, which was already weird, considering I wasn’t even planning on leaving my house that day, not to mention it was about to rain. What threw me off even more was that when I walked in, I saw this drop-dead gorgeous barista looking at me, and we stared at each other from across the room for who knows how long; it felt like the rest of the world slipped away and it was just the two of us.”

“That’s adorable,” Steve interrupted. “Please continue.”

Rolling his eyes, Bucky kept talking. “When our ‘adorable’ staring contest ended, I ordered a small black coffee, and I guess those were her words, because then she said mine. The thing is, I don’t think she actually knew I was her soulmate, because she didn’t mention it and, well, she’s a barista, she probably hears those words all the time.”

Steve slouched over, rubbing his temples. “I’m guessing you didn’t say anything either?”

“No I did not.”

There it was. The look. Steve Rogers is officially disappointed in Bucky Barnes.

“And why, exactly, would you do that?”

“You’re not going to like my answer.”

“I probably won’t.”

Bucky sighed yet again, now he was the one with his head in his hands. “I just… she seems like such a sweet girl, I- I don’t want to stick her with someone like me.”

Now Steve was just mad. “‘Someone like you?’ What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

No, this really isn’t going well at all. “You know, like… I’m messed up, man. In the head and all that. I’d just be a burden to her.”

“A burden? Are you actually KIDDING me?” Steve stood up and started pacing as Bucky looked up at him, eyes wide. “Yes, you have your issues and your struggles. I’m not going to lie to you about that. But in no goddamn universe are you a burden on anyone. You deserve love as much as anyone else does. You are a good fucking person, do you hear me?”

“I hear you,” Bucky mumbled, looking down at his feet. “I just don’t see myself like that.”

Steve stopped pacing and sat back down next to Bucky, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Look, I get that it’s hard, and I also get that I can’t fully understand just how hard it is when I haven’t experienced the things that you have. But I need you to know that you have so much value, and your mental illness doesn’t change that. You deserve to love and be loved by someone.”

Bucky began to tear up. “Deep down, I think I know you’re right, but I just can’t get myself to really believe it.” They were both blinking back tears now, and Bucky continued, “I haven’t liked myself in a long, long time, it’s hard to imagine anyone else liking me.”

Steve paused. “Well, I like you just fine.”

Bucky exhaled a laugh as he wiped his eyes. They both sat in silence for a minute before he spoke again. “Steve?”

“Yeah, Buck?”

“Do you think I should go back to therapy?”

“I think you should absolutely go back to therapy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> steve is literally just a self insert of me and probably all of you too. writing sad bucky makes me sad too :( 
> 
> next chapter we get darcy and bucky being adorable!
> 
> thank you for reading! comments & kudos make the world go round <3 much love to you all


	4. He Really Likes Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy is sad, Bucky gets his groove back, and they both take a nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, so, remember when I said there would be cute stuff in this chapter? yeah, well, that wasn't exactly the direction this chapter went in. CheerioKid gave me a STELLAR idea and I couldn't help but work on that instead!
> 
> the song for this chapter is 'from me, the moon' by lav :)
> 
> ps: thank you so much CheerioKid, you are a genius

Three weeks after their first official conversation, Darcy and James found themselves leaving the cafe at the same time, around noon, and nearly bumped into each other on the sidewalk.

“Oh- hi!” Darcy was uncharacteristically flustered, and she didn’t like it one bit. “I was just, uh, just leaving.”

James took a breath. “Me too. Obviously. Don’t you work longer than this?”

“Yeah, ‘till one or two most of the time but Wanda let me go home early. Slow day.”

“Cool, cool.” He seemed the tiniest bit more confident than usual. “Where are you headed?”

“Home. I just said that.”

James rocked back and forth on his heels, hands in his pockets. “No, I mean like, what direction?”

Blushing, Darcy realized what he meant. “Oh!” Against her better judgment that would usually warn her against telling some guy where she lived, she pointed down the street, in the general direction of her apartment building. “Just that way.”

Glancing up at him, she noticed James looked a bit pensive before he replied, “Me too.”

“Cool. So...”

“So.”

Darcy lifted her head and took a breath. “Are we walking together, or what?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“Me neither.”

She could’ve sworn she saw him smile when he gestured ahead of them with a “Lead the way.” Darcy turned on her heel with a smile on her own face as they walked side by side.

Over the past few weeks, Darcy and James had spoken again. Not every day, sometimes she could tell he was in a bad mood and likely just wanted to be left alone, but they still got to know each other. Although the two were hardly friends, more like polite acquaintances, Darcy felt like she had known him forever. He was still quiet, a bit awkward - in a cute way, of course - and she was still talkative, and awkward in what she really hoped was a cute way. James didn’t talk about himself much, usually just listening and nodding along as Darcy complained about school, or told him about a book she was reading. She just wanted to know more about him, but she didn’t want to risk scaring him off. 

Their conversation while walking wasn’t much different, though they both were a little more nervous. Darcy talked about work, and when she asked James what he did, he dodged the question and quickly changed the subject.

After three blocks, the pair stopped in front of a large brick building and said simultaneously, “Well, this is me.”

“What.” His eyes widened.

“Huh?” Her brow furrowed.

“Is this your building? This is my building.”

“Wait, which apartment do you live in?”

James paused and swallowed. “Uh, 4C.”

Darcy gaped. “You’re fucking kidding me.”

“I definitely am not.” 

“I’m in 4A,” she said, mouth still open. “Holy shit.”

Darcy one, universe zero.

“We’re next-door neighbors and we had no idea,” she continued. “How the hell does that even happen?”

“Well, I’m always home.”

“And I’m never home. So I guess we just kept missing each other.”

“I guess so.”

They stood in silence for a second before Darcy shivered. “Well. We should probably go inside before we freeze to death.” 

“Good plan.” 

James, the gentleman, held the door open for Darcy, getting her to smile. “Thank you,” she said, blushing as he simply nodded.

When they stepped into the elevator, their arms brushed, sending a shock through her body, soulmark burning up, nearly to the point of pain. She saw James shake and step away from her, so he must’ve felt it too, but why didn’t he say something? Why didn’t she say something? She always had something to say! This was the second time they had touched and the second time she had gotten this feeling. That had to mean something, right? She wasn’t sure whether to give this point to herself or the universe.

When the elevator doors opened on their floor, James quickly slid past her and practically ran to his apartment without so much as a wave goodbye. Opening the door to her own apartment, Darcy decided that, regardless of the freaky internal lightning strikes and the Usain Bolt imitation, this counted as a win. 

That is until she heard a muffled groan coming from apartment 4C.

Ouch.

Darcy zero, universe one.

Physically and emotionally exhausted, she kicked off her shoes and flopped onto her bed, let out a groan in her pillow to rival her neighbor’s, then slowly drifted off to sleep.

\----------------

Well, this was a disaster. How the hell was he supposed to avoid his soulmate after finding out they shared a damn wall? She’s going to find out that he lied. She’s going to find out and she’s going to hate him. She can’t find out.

Bucky tossed himself onto his couch and groaned into a throw pillow, louder than intended, before falling asleep. Some time later, he woke up to quick footsteps that he had grown accustomed to during the eight months since the tenant in 4A had moved in. He now knew they belonged to Darcy. Hearing her door open and close, Bucky was about to take the party to his bedroom and go back to sleep, until the footsteps slowed and stopped at his door. His heart hurt as they began again and pattered away. 

This was going to be impossible to keep up for much longer. Having to stay away from her when he wanted to be with her all the time; having to keep secrets when he wanted to tell her everything. Shoving his head into the couch cushion, he drifted off to sleep again, hoping not to dream of Darcy. 

He dreamed of Darcy for an hour and a half, until he woke up just in time for therapy. 

“If seeing her is what makes you happy, then you should see her more often,” the therapist stated simply. “It is important to remember, though, that allowing your mental health to rely entirely on another person is incredibly risky. If for whatever reason, you were to lose that person, everything comes crashing down. A friend like Steve is great, a soulmate like Darcy is amazing, but the most important person in your life is you. You need a support system, reliable coping skills, things of that nature.”

Soon after his conversation with Steve, Bucky had returned to therapy after two years of going without it. It had been difficult to seek help again after neglecting to do so for that long. The last time he had spoken to a mental health professional was the day he finally grew tired of working so hard on getting better to seemingly no avail, and decided therapy just wasn’t for him. The time since had been mostly ups and downs - or rather, downs and slightly-less-downs. The first six months after quitting hadn’t been too bad, depression and anxiety staying mild. Unfortunately, it wasn’t much longer before he found himself numb, alone, neglecting to take care of himself for days, even weeks on end. It wasn’t like that all two years, he even managed to get a book out during that time, but the remaining year and a half were still particularly tough, his most stable state getting progressively less stable. 

Eventually, this led him back to a beige room with far too many horse-related decorations for his taste, sitting on a brown leather couch, talking to a therapist that introduced herself as Olivia. Over the course of three sessions, Bucky had told her everything, from the anxiety and depression to Darcy and, once reminded of HIPAA twice over, even Jamie. 

Bucky nodded along. “I know, it’s just- I don’t have a whole lot of people in my life, most definitely not enough to form a support system. As for the coping skills, well, a lot of those just feel impossible now.”

“Like writing?”

“Like writing. It used to be easy, make me happy, calm me down. Now, though? God, my publisher is on my ass about starting another book, but I don’t know where I’d even start. It’s stressful.”

“I understand. Maybe you’re just biting off more than you can chew.”

“Like an entire book is too much? Yeah, agreed, but I still don’t have any decent plot ideas, even for a short story. I couldn’t write a damn poem if I tried.”

“Well, who says you need to think of a plot?”

Bucky stared at her blankly. “Olivia, what do you think writing is?”

“No, I mean don’t come up with something new,” she laughed. “Take something from your real life and fictionalize it. Something that makes you happy. You could publish it blog-style if you’d like; take some of the pressure off.”

He was quiet for a moment before responding, “So this is what I pay you for, huh?”

“Sure,” she said, smiling. “Alright, well, I think we’re out of time, so is there anything else you need before you go?”

“Nothing comes to mind. Thanks for the advice, really.” Bucky stood up and headed for the door. “I might just take you up on it.”

\----------------  
Darcy woke up at two-forty to find that she was running slightly late for her internship with Jane. After rolling out of bed, she pulled her shoes back on and grabbed her bag on the way to the kitchen. She grabbed a sandwich, a handful of granola bars, and two water bottles, shoved them in her bag, and left her apartment, locking the door behind her. Her steps slowed down outside of James’ door as she felt a dull ache in her chest. Trying and failing to shake off the feeling, she ran to the elevator.

After a painfully long trip on the subway, Darcy walked into Jane’s lab, ready to vent her heart out. That is, after feeding and watering the resident mad scientist. “Hey, Janey.”

Jane mumbled something resembling a ‘hello.’ Sighing, Darcy took some food and a water bottle out of her bag, setting it on the table.

“Thank you,” she mumbled again, not looking away from her work. 

“Jane!” Darcy was having none of it. “You are taking a break. Now. You need to eat and I need to talk.”

Slowly, Jane yawned and turned to Darcy. “Fair enough. What’s going on?”

Flopping into the empty chair next to her friend, she replied, “Oh, so very, very much. But also nothing at all.”

“Please explain.”

Darcy leaned forward and exhaled as she began, “Okay, so I met this guy at work.”

“And?”

“And… he said my words.”

Confused, Jane responded, “That’s nothing new though, right? People say them all the time. Wait, did you say his?”

“No, that’s just the thing, we’re not soulmates, even though it sure as hell feels like we are. I barely know him, but every time he comes into the coffee shop - which is every single day for nearly two months, by the way - I see him, everything stops, and I just melt.” Darcy sighed longingly. “I can’t get him out of my head and I can’t decide if it’s terrible or amazing.” She considered bringing up what happened when they touched but decided against it. Something about it felt too personal.  
“Wow,” was all Jane said to that.

“Also, we just found out we’re next-door neighbors, which is a strange turn of events.”

“Huh.”

“Huh, indeed.”

“What’s his name?”

“James.”

“James who?”

“I don't know. Last names just never came up.” Darcy’s brow furrowed. “Actually, come to think of it, I guess I don’t know much about him at all.”

Jane raised her eyebrows. “Well! You should probably work on that, considering you’re already all mushy over him.”

“I absolutely am not mushy.”

“You’re totally mushy.”

Darcy groaned, “You know me too well. I’m totally mushy. But I don’t know if he’s mushy over me too. I think he might just be polite.”

“He comes to your work every day.”

“Maybe he really likes coffee!”

“Does he always order a small?” 

Darcy knew where this was going. Every day, he comes in, orders the simplest thing on the menu, and sits in the corner for an hour and a half. Naturally, because he really likes coffee and definitely not Darcy. “Not relevant.”

Jane gave her a knowing look. “Very relevant. He wants to see you.”

“He doesn’t even talk to me.” Yeah, but you’re always catching him staring at you. Because he really likes coffee. 

“So? It took you a month to ask out Wanda, which is like a decade in Darcy-years. Talking to hot people is hard. And you’re super hot,” Jane said matter-of-factly.

“Well, yeah, duh, but even if he does like me, that doesn’t change the fact that we’re in this nervous limbo and I have no clue what’s going on.” Darcy frowned and looked at her fidgeting hands. “I think he was upset when we figured out we were neighbors, which makes me think he doesn’t like me, but if he didn’t like me, then why would he walk home with me? Why would he come to the cafe every single day to do nothing but drink one small coffee in the corner while reading slash surreptitiously watching me? Why did he smile when I said he was cute? Why-”

“My god, Darcy! Have you lost your mind?” Jane had her hands on Darcy’s shoulders now, nearly shaking her.

“What?”

“He’s totally into you!”

Darcy smiled sadly and bit her lip, quickly lost in thought. He probably was into her, sure. But he wasn’t her soulmate, and that wasn’t fair. To James, or Darcy, or their respective soulmates. She had loved Wanda, and Wanda had loved her, but the connection of a soulmate could, and did, beat that a hundred times over. The universe truly is the worst, it ruined that relationship and it would ruin this one too. She’d rather yearn unrequited for a while than truly fall in love with him, only to get her heart broken. 

Jane saw the hurt in her eyes and pulled her into a tight hug. “Is it the soulmate thing?”

Darcy merely sniffled and buried her head into Jane’s shoulder, which was response enough. “Aw, Darce. It’s going to be okay. One day you’ll meet them and they’ll be amazing and smart and almost as hot as you and you’re going to be really happy and it’s going to be okay.”

Holding back a sob, Darcy’s voice broke as she asked, “How do you know?”

“I’m a scientist, I know everything.”

Darcy laughed despite the few tears now falling down her face. She took a breath and repeated Jane’s words to herself. “It’s going to be okay.”

“Definitely.”

\----------------

Returning from therapy, Bucky stepped out of the elevator to see Darcy struggling to unlock her door. Walking up to her, he cleared his throat, startling her.

“Ah! Oh. Hi.” She stared up at him, and Bucky noticed that her signature eyeliner and lipstick combination had been replaced by a bare face and red-rimmed eyes. She had been crying.

He was immediately concerned but didn’t want to intrude. “Are you okay? I mean - do you need help with, uh, your door?”

She looked back down at whatever she was attempting to do with her key. “No, it’s fine, I got it.” 

“Okay,” he said, but continued to stand and watch her jiggle the doorknob anyways. “Are you sure? Because it’s looking like you don’t got it.”

Darcy let go of the doorknob and stepped back. “You’re right, actually, I don’t think I got it.”

Bucky smiled and took that as an invitation to help. Careful to not touch her, he took the key and proceeded to delicately push it into the keyhole. He slowly turned the doorknob, opening the door. “You gotta be gentle with it.” When he turned back around, he saw her now-smiling face and was suddenly breathless. He wasn’t sure if he should kiss her or run. Probably run. Running would be a good plan.

“Do you -”

“I have to go, sorry, have a good night.” Bucky unlocked his door and ran inside at practically superhuman speed, leaving Darcy alone in the hall.

He heard her utter a soft “Oh,” then raise her voice to be heard through the door, “Goodnight!” and she slowly entered her apartment. 

Collapsing onto his couch again, he saw his laptop on the coffee table and considered what Olivia had suggested. Something that makes you happy. Darcy. Darcy makes him happy. “Fuck,” he muttered to himself. “Darcy then.” 

Opening his laptop, then a document, he began to think. He couldn’t be too obvious, Darcy was smart and if she found the blog, she could figure it out. Really, she could figure it out regardless, this was a horrible idea and Bucky knew it, but that had never stopped him before. 

Alright, he’d have to change most of the major details. Instead of the girl from the coffee shop that gave him free muffins, she was the girl from the diner with cupcakes. She didn’t care for crime novels the way Darcy did, she was more into horror. She went to NYU, not Columbia, for a literature degree, not astrophysics, and no years-long internship because that’s just too specific. And it was probably best to just leave the whole soulmate situation out of it.

Here goes.

Day One  
The moment he stepped into the diner to escape the cold, the curvy brunette behind the counter caught his eye. When she 

Bucky was nearly on a roll until he heard faint sobs from the apartment next to him. Darcy. He hesitated for only a moment before abandoning the laptop on his couch and rushing over to her door. He felt an urge to just kick in the door and hold her, but that seemed like the wrong way to go about this, so he just carefully knocked. 

The sobs quieted, then stopped. After a moment of quiet, Darcy opened the door and peered up at him. “Hey man. What are you doing here?”

“Oh, um, I heard you crying, and I just wanted to check up on you.”

“Shit, you heard that? Sorry, I thought I was being quiet.” 

His heart ached for her. “Don’t worry about it. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Well, I mean, no, obviously,” she gestured at her face, “But I will be. It’s fine.” The statement was punctuated by a contradictory sniffle.

Bucky was more worried by the minute. “Are you sure?”

“That I’ll be fine? Yeah, it’s just- do you wanna come in? It’s cool if you can’t, I just don’t like being alone when I’m sad.”

No. No, no, no, no, no. Do not come in. If you go through that door, you will never want to leave.

“Okay,” is what left his mouth instead. 

Damn universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eek! thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked this chapter, please tell me in the comments & CheerioKid, I hope I did your idea justice, but don't worry, I'm not nearly done with it yet
> 
> next chapter will continue what's happening now + introduce Pietro yay
> 
> also! I'm considering doing a chapter 4.5 where I put in all the little blurbs that Bucky is writing about him and Darcy, would you guys like that? let me know :) I appreciate you all so much <3


	5. Chapter 4.5: Love, Day by Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you asked so i delivered! this is jamie's adorable semi-fictional cataloging of his interactions with darcy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> most of these are not written in the actual fic, partially because they're not really consequential to the story but mostly because I hadn't actually thought of them yet
> 
> the song for this chapter is 'falling for u' by peachy! and the song mentioned is 'in love' by khai dreams
> 
> once again, creds for the blog idea go to CheerioKid!
> 
> ps: my unfortunate obsession with two broke girls really shows here. my bad.

**Love, Day by** **Day**

_by Jamie Burke_

Day One:

The second he stepped into the diner to escape the cold, a curvy brunette walking out of the kitchen caught his eye. When she turned to the door and saw him, he caught hers too. For a moment, all they knew was each other, the rest of the world forgotten. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and he was drawn to her like a moth to a flame. Nothing else mattered so long as she was near. The pair could've stood there staring at each other for eternity, but they were rudely interrupted by a man snapping his fingers in her direction, shouting for service. She was forced to break her gaze, though he continued to watch as she snapped her fingers right back, a sickly sweet smile on her face but a withering glare in her eyes. He couldn't help but smile; she was perfect. 

He settled into a booth, crossing his fingers that this was her section. His wish came true when she strode over to his table. "What can I get you, blue-eyes?" the woman said with a soft smile. His face formed a smile of his own as he took her in up close.

"Small black coffee, please." He didn't really want coffee, but he did need an excuse to stay.

She nodded. "I'll be right back," and walked away with grace. She did come right back, appearing in front of him only a minute or two later, this time holding a mug and a cupcake.

"I hope you don't mind the cupcake. It's on the house if you even want it," she told him.

"Oh, I don't mind at all, thank you." He was a bit taken aback, but the baked goods only added to his fondness for her.

"Great! Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"Just one thing - what's your name?"

She pointed to her name tag. "Delilah."

He smiled and looked up into her eyes. "I'm Jamie."

* * *

Day Two:

The next afternoon, he came back to the diner and was pleased to see that the booth he sat in the day before was unoccupied. When Delilah walked over to him with a grin, Jamie could feel his heart rate triple.

“You again!”

Smiling softly, he confirmed, “Me again.” She remembered him. 

“What would you like today?”

“Small black coffee, same as yesterday.”

She lifted an eyebrow. “Is that going to be your usual? The simplest thing on the menu?”

“Yeah. Yeah, pretty much.”

“Good to know,” she replied with a smile. “Then you’re getting another cupcake, cool?”

He couldn’t help but smile back. “Cool.”

* * *

Day Six:

Jamie had come back to see her at the same time daily, quickly picking up an idea of her work schedule. He arrived at four-thirty p.m. every day, without fail, using the flimsy excuse of drinking coffee and pretending to read for an hour when he was really there to see her. 

She had given him a different flavor of cupcake every day and he was beginning to suspect that he was her cupcake guinea pig. He had no problem with this; frankly, it felt like an honor, so he was a willing victim. When he asked Delilah about this, she gave a guilty smile and an “Oops!”

Could she get any cuter?

* * *

Day Ten:

As it turns out, she could and did get cuter. When she stepped out of the kitchen and he saw her for the first time, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. Delilah sported red lipstick and a flick of eyeliner as usual, but today she wore a short sky blue a-line dress with white flowers patterned on it.

When their eyes met, she immediately strode over and recited his order before he even got the chance to open his mouth. “Small black coffee. And I can pay for the cupcake, really,” she said, rolling her eyes at his recent attempts to pay for more than just the coffee. 

Jamie blushed, shaking his head at her imitation. “You read my mind.”

She beamed at him and he couldn’t help but blurt out, “You look really nice today, you know that?” He avoided her eyes nervously but kept his eyes trained on her face to gauge her reaction. Her smile grew ten-fold.

He had butterflies.

* * *

Day Sixteen:

Jamie was drinking his coffee and reading a book as always when he felt eyes on him and glanced around the diner. He spotted Delilah behind the counter and she quickly averted her gaze, blushing. She had been watching him the way he watched her.

He had kept his own eyes on her, and when she turned back to him, she didn’t look away. The two shared a soft smile from opposite sides of the room.

They barely knew each other, and yet, he was infatuated.

* * *

Day Twenty:

Jamie was peering over his book in an attempt to surreptitiously watch Delilah at work when a particularly romantic song began playing over the speakers.

_Make me fall in love, why don’t you_

_Just make me fall in love again, I can’t deny it_

_I’m in love_

At that, their eyes met and parted just as quickly.

* * *

Day Twenty-Eight:

She was perfect. Smart, clever, kind, funny, not to mention that she was mind-blowingly beautiful. She was perfect, yet seemed to be oblivious to that fact. She was so perfect, and he had not a clue what to do about it. 

He watched as Delilah laughed with a co-worker, one that he was a bit jealous of. He wanted to laugh with her, hug her, get to know everything about her, and tell her everything about himself. He wanted to love her.

Maybe he already did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> those absolute cuties will be the death of me
> 
> the next actual chapter should be out within the next few days, although I now have 4 hours of therapy a day on top of school, so I don't have a ton of free time to write, but I'm still making pretty good progress :)
> 
> much love to you all <3 comments are good for my mental health and if you give kudos I'll be your best friend!


	6. Fight, Flight, Freeze

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy is sad, then Bucky is sad, then they are both significantly less sad for like, eight hours. Pietro finally arrives in a Pietro-typical manner, and we get a Sharon Carter cameo for good measure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this has over 1000 hits now, wow!! thank you all so much for sticking with this story :)  
> the songs are coffee breath by sofia mills (the song that inspired the title of this fic) and devil town by cavetown.
> 
> also! trigger warning for panic attacks/anxiety. it's not until the very end, so you can skip that part if you need to. take care of yourself <3

Darcy probably should’ve been a little more hesitant to let James into her apartment this late, but it felt right. Everything felt right with him, and that was the worst part. 

“Make yourself at home,” she said, gesturing him in and over to the couch. They sat down, Darcy fidgeting with her hands and both of them avoiding eye contact.

Risking a glance at her, James asked, “So… what’s going on?”

Darcy dropped her head into her hands with her eyes squeezed shut and sighed, “It’s just- god, it’s stupid.” She really shouldn’t throw a soulmate pity party with the guy she liked, but she wanted to tell him everything. It was getting awfully inconvenient.

“It’s making you cry. It isn’t stupid.”

Why did he have to be so damn nice? She felt her eyes begin to tear up again. “Fuck. Okay,” she muttered to herself. “It’s just soulmate stuff.” Out of her peripheral vision, Darcy saw James swallow and clench his jaw, but she continued anyway. “Basically- okay, so, I used to have these dreams about my soulmate. I never got a name or face but still, I would dream about meeting them, falling in love, all that mushy stuff. I would get them all the time, day and night, up until a month or two ago when they just… stopped. I have no idea what happened but,” she took a shaky breath, “I miss them.” She was crying over more than just the dreams, but telling him that she  _ would _ fall in love with him, if only they were soulmates, probably wouldn’t be the best move. Best to stick with ambiguity.

She felt his eyes on her now when he spoke. “You miss the dreams or your soulmate?”

Darcy pulled her head up to look at him.

_ I miss it all. I miss meeting them over and over. I miss falling in love every night. I miss being able to escape from my world into one where everything was good because I had that person. I miss the feeling I’d get when they slipped into my head. I miss the dreams, I miss my soulmate, and I would do just about anything to get them back. _

“Both, I guess.”

They studied each other’s faces for a minute before James broke the silence. “I had dreams like that too.”

“Really? I read that soulmate dreams aren’t super rare, it happens to like twenty percent of the population, but I don’t think I know anyone else who gets them.” She paused for a moment, reprocessing what he’d said. “Wait, ‘had?’ When did they stop? Did you meet your soulmate or did they just go away like me?” 

“They stopped a while ago. Don’t know why.” He sounded sad. Even more than that, he sounded the way she felt.

“You miss them too.” It wasn’t a question; there was no need to ask. She knew he did, how could he not? It had been weeks since she figured out the dreams were gone, but it wasn’t until she told James that she realized how much it affected her.

His lack of response spoke volumes, he hurt the way she did. Losing the thing they had grown so attached to, with no soulmate to show for it. Maybe they were lucky to have ever had them when most people didn’t, but it would’ve been a hell of a lot easier if there was nothing to lose in the first place.

Darcy’s heart was breaking for the both of them. Turning her body to face the man now staring straight ahead, she took a risk. “Can I hug you?” She waited for an answer with bated breath, not missing the way his eyes widened and his body tensed up. 

As Darcy opened her mouth with the intent to retract the question, he finally spoke. “Sure.”

Perking up a bit, she slowly wrapped her arms around him, the electricity she felt every time they touched immediately hitting. This time, though, neither ran away. If anything, they held each other tighter as the shock ran its course through them and eventually died down. After what felt like hours, they hesitantly separated, though they both still clutched the other’s wrists like their lives depended on it. Remaining lost in his eyes, Darcy realized James was visibly exhausted, and she was too. Without exchanging a word, she moved to rest on his right shoulder as he settled into a more comfortable position. They snuggled closer together and both drifted off to sleep within minutes.

* * *

Bucky woke up uncharacteristically early, around seven, with an aching back and a weight on his chest. He glanced around at his surroundings and recalled the night before. _Fuck._ This wasn't good. This was very bad, and it was especially horrible how pretty Darcy was when she slept, how he wanted nothing more than to stay there with her forever. He had to get out of there. Looking down at the girl curled around him, still fast asleep, he figured the best course of action would be to get the hell out of there. After he put her to bed, obviously. It would be rude to just leave her sleeping on the couch. Bucky gently picked her up and carried her bridal-style into her bedroom. He slipped off the shoes she hadn't removed the night before and tucked her under the covers. He watched her for a moment until realizing that this was getting really creepy, really quickly. Thankfully, she was sleeping like a rock, with no more than a few mumbled groans while he had moved her around. Quietly closing her bedroom door and tiptoeing away, he spotted a legal pad on her desk and considered leaving a note, but decided against it. Maybe they could just ignore the incident as they did with the soulmark shocks.

Unfortunately for him, that's not quite Darcy's style. 

Three hours later, attempting to push away his anxiety-brain screaming at him to _go the hell home,_ Bucky made his way over to the coffee shop. This time, though, it wasn't Darcy at the register, she was replaced by a blonde coworker of hers, Sharon. Sharon was also the one to bring him his coffee, the regular muffin replaced with her piercing glare.

Now slouched over with his head in his hands, Bucky mentally kicked himself for a few minutes until he heard the door swing open with a loud jingle. He jerked his head up to see a young light-haired man walk in, drop a duffel bag on the floor, and shout in an eastern-European accent like Wanda's, "Hello? Can I get some service here?" 

Bucky felt himself grow somewhat angry at the man. Sharon, still behind the counter, dropped the stack of paper cups she was holding when she heard him, and Darcy came dashing out of the backroom not even a full second after. She nearly tripped over her own feet running over to him and didn't even seem to notice Bucky. He grew even more confused when she jumped into his arms and kissed him on the cheek as he spun her around.

What the hell? Who was this guy? Darcy had never mentioned a boyfriend, or a brother, or even any close male friends that he could think of. 

They let go of each other, and then _she_ was the one yelling. "Pietro! Holy shit, what are you doing here?" He didn't get a chance to respond before Wanda quite literally sprinted over to them and hugged him so aggressively that the pair almost collapsed. A few other employees came over as well, though at a significantly more sane pace.

The name Pietro was familiar to Bucky, he was Wanda's brother, but Darcy hadn't talked about him much. He figured it was just because they weren't close, but that was clearly not the case, so why hadn't she mentioned him? She often spoke about Jane, Wanda, Sharon, Natasha, but never Pietro. 

He couldn't hear what was being said over all the excited chatter, but he did notice a few glances being thrown his way, mostly from the man of the hour. He quickly turned and hid his face, but still tried to listen in. The only thing he could make out was what sounded like Pietro saying, "I'm going to kill him. I'll be right back."

Bucky wondered who he was talking about until it was followed by an "Oh god," from Darcy, and realized that he was the one being killed. On instinct, he looked back at them through his hair to see Pietro storming towards him with Darcy following. When he reached Bucky's table, Darcy quickly stepped in front of Pietro with a nervous smile that he knew well.

"Hi, James! What's up? This is Pietro," she gestured at her friend who appeared to be getting angrier by the second. "Pietro is my best friend, he's usually great, you two would get along like a house on fire, but at the moment, I believe he is here to kill you- right?" Darcy looked back at Pietro and he nodded. "Right. He's here to kill you, I'm here to make sure that doesn't happen and talk to you like a normal person would!"

Maybe he should've listened to anxiety-brain. Bucky just stared at them for a few seconds, unsure of what to say, but Darcy continued regardless, grabbing Pietro's wrist and sitting them both down across from him. "So that was kind of a dick move you pulled this morning, huh?"

"Definitely a dick move," Pietro agreed.

"Seriously. Just leaving? Not even a note? Dick move." Bucky remained quiet, so she kept talking. "And I heard you in your apartment at like, eight, so I know you didn't have anywhere to go."

"Explain."

He opened his mouth to do just that, but nothing came out. What was he supposed to say? ' _I know we're barely friends but actually, we're soulmates and I lied about it and now I think I'm falling in love with you and that's fucking terrifying, so I left, fight or flight style'_ most likely wouldn't make her any less upset with him. So, the lesser-known alternative to fight or flight occurred - freeze. Bucky froze, and that didn't help much either. 

She sighed. "Or don't. Look man, if you're not into me, you can just tell me. Don't be all weird and mysterious about it."

Darcy stared and Pietro glared at him for another silent minute. "Fine. Whatever," she said, standing up. "When you're ready to talk, you know where to find me." She walked away with Pietro, who was still throwing angry glances at Bucky.

Fucking hell.

Once they were gone, Bucky sprinted out and all the way home, running on pure adrenaline. He ran into his apartment, grateful to have gotten inside before having a full-blown panic attack. Sinking onto the floor, he tried to remember what his therapist had told him to do when this happened, but it was too late. The hyperventilating began, and it only got worse from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for this wow it wasn't even supposed to get angsty but then I found myself a thousand words in, writing anxiety!bucky and it was too late. 
> 
> I almost wrote in a description of bucky having the panic attack but then I realized that would probably just make me anxious, and some of you anxious, and I really don't want that. If you're worried about him like I am, just know he'll be okay! his therapy is going well, I swear.
> 
> also, I think we all know realistically darcy would've figured out something was up by now because she's basically a genius but just bear with me here.
> 
> the next chapter will hurt a hell of a lot less, so I'll get it up asap
> 
> constructive criticism and nice things would be very appreciated in the comments! you're all individually the best :)


	7. Cool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Darcy do communication! And other cute things!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you're gonna love this one. hopefully. you might not. i can’t tell you what to do. either way, have fun!
> 
> the songs are honey moon by birds in the airport, all the luv in my sick heart by awfultune and sweet boi by chevy :)

Darcy snapped at James and had felt awful about since it the second she walked away from him.

He left, and it sucked, but the dude had tucked her in, so what the hell kind of message was he trying to send? They had a super intense hug, fell asleep together, and he was trying to pretend it never even happened. It looked like he was leading her on, which Darcy swore she would never put up with, but this was different. There was something between them, there was no way he hadn’t noticed. James was shy, she’d known that since the day they’d met, and that was probably part of why he did what he did, but waking up alone still hurt.

Okay, maybe she didn’t actually wake up alone. Maybe she opened her eyes earlier that morning to see his sleeping face mere inches away from hers and decided it couldn’t hurt to watch for a minute or forty. Maybe when she felt him stir, she pretended to be sleeping because she couldn’t bring herself to move from this position, and maybe when he picked her up she had no clue what to do and thought her best bet would be to keep her eyes closed. So maybe, in hindsight, it wasn’t all on him, because maybe they were definitely both idiots.

Still, Darcy was either too proud or too nervous to drag her feet back over to his table with an apology, and even if she wanted to, he had probably left by now - god knows she would if Pietro the guard dog was staring daggers at her. Pietro vehemently disagreed with her expression of guilt, saying, “If he likes you, he should say it, not gape at you like a goldfish!”

Darcy thought that was a bit dramatic. Gaping was a perfectly understandable response to Pietro’s typical shovel treatment.

Now, she'd been sitting on the floor in the corner of the stockroom for a solid half-hour, her coworkers leaving her alone after witnessing the incident with James. "Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry," she whispered to herself. She'd cried far too much in the past week for her taste. "Don't you dare cry again. You absolutely will not sit on the floor and cry over a boy."

But he wasn't just a boy, was he? Darcy'd had her fair share of fights with boys and she always got over it. This wasn't like any of those. She wanted to talk to him, fix it, but she wasn't sure if he'd even want to see her. With any luck though, he would, since she had told him to talk to her when he was ready, so hopefully that was enough to get the message across.

Darcy took a deep breath and stood up, fixing her clothes before walking out of the room with her head up.

* * *

After a much-needed shower and glass of water, along with some breathing exercises, Bucky gathered the courage to call his therapist and tell her what happened. Her obvious advice was to talk to Darcy once he felt that he was out of the woods panic attack-wise. It wouldn't have been his first choice, but at the same time, Olivia had yet to steer him wrong. Still, he was hesitant.

Then he called Steve, who immediately came over to both comfort him and smack some sense into him, which ended up being just the extra push he needed.

"You need to talk to the girl. It won't be fun, but she's your soulmate, Buck. You know it's inevitable anyway, so why make it harder on yourself by waiting for the timing to be 'right' or whatever bullshit excuse you're about to pull on me."

Bucky quickly shut his mouth, because that was exactly the bullshit excuse he was about to pull on him. "Okay. Fine. But what am I even supposed to tell her?"

"Tell her the truth."

"Right, but which version?" Bucky asked both himself and his friend. "There's no way in hell I'm telling her we're soulmates, at least not yet."

Steve sighed. "And I can't make you. At the very least try to explain why you left and why you froze up when she asked this morning."

Slowly nodding, Bucky asked, "But what do I actually _say?_ And when? And where?"

"I'm not going to tell you what to say, that one's all on you," Steve told him, taking the questions one at a time. "As soon as possible would probably be a good time, and as for where, maybe her place? Close enough that you're comfortable and still able to leave and go home if necessary. Might as well knock on her door tonight."

And so, Bucky knocked on her door that night.

* * *

Around nine, an hour after she’d gotten home that day, Darcy heard a knock at her door. She padded over to the door and got on her tiptoes to look through the peephole. It was James. _Oh god._ Of course she had wanted this to happen, but now that he was actually here, she had no clue what to say to him. Simultaneously nervous and optimistic, she opened the door to an also visibly nervous James.

Taking a breath before speaking, he said, "Hi."

At the same time, they both quickly confessed, "I’m so sorry."

"Jinx," Darcy anxiously laughed. He was avoiding eye contact as he made a face that was half smile, half wince, but she was too. This wasn’t too bad so far though, at least they seemed to be on the same page.

"I shouldn't have left."

"It's okay, honestly. I shouldn't have snapped at you. Or let Pietro go into guard dog mode."

Relaxing a bit, but still clearly uncomfortable, James agreed, "Yeah that was... a bit intense. I just didn't really know what to say. I'm not the best talker if you hadn't noticed."

"I gathered, yeah. Nothing wrong with being quiet though." Their eyes met for a moment until he looked to the floor and she cleared her throat, stepping back. "So, uh, wanna come in?" Sure, it didn't exactly end well last time, but the second time's the charm, right? 

He blinked at her, obviously not expecting the question. After a few seconds of silence, he agreed and hesitantly walked in. "Nice place."

"Thanks! It's exactly the same as the last time you saw it." Darcy hoped she could lighten the incredibly uncomfortable mood. No dice; James just smiled awkwardly, rocking back and forth on his heels.

Taking a breath, she spoke again. "This is weird, right? This feels super weird."

"Yeah, this is really weird," he agreed, somewhat relieved.

Darcy sat on the couch and gestured for James to follow. Her right leg began bouncing up and down as he stiffly placed himself next to her, maybe a foot away and she glanced up at him. "So... why _did_ you leave?" Bracing herself for rejection, she looked back down and clenched her hands together until he replied.

"I got scared."

Her head jerked up and turned to him at this. Scared? Scared of what? Scared of her? Darcy knew she could be a force to be reckoned with, but why would he be scared of her? She usually saved the intimidation for asshole professors and condescending scientists, of which James was neither. "What on earth were you scared of?"

He took a deep shaky breath and let it out. "You."

"You were scared of me."

"Well, not exactly _you,_ more like- fuck, how do I put this." The guy was clearly getting more nervous by the second so Darcy took pity on him and said the first thing that came to her head.

"Feelings." _Note to self: never say the first thing that comes to your head ever again._

"Pretty much." 

_Never mind then._ James was staring at the wall, and Darcy was focused on her still-clenched hands. She took another risk. "So. What I said about you not being into me like that..."

"Way off."

Barely trying to hide the mile-long grin and blush spread across her face, Darcy simply replied, "Cool. Me too. I mean, like, it would be way off for me also. Yeah." She had not prepared for this. At all. 

"Cool."

They were looking at each other again, their faces now somehow only a few inches apart. James began to drift forward and when Darcy tilted her chin up towards him, he softly pressed his lips against hers. It was simple, restrained, and before she could even react, he pulled back, muttering apologies. "Oh god I- I'm so sorry."

"Can't imagine what for." Darcy wrapped her hands around his neck and kissed him again, a bit more intense this time. He immediately kissed her back, gently placing his arm on her waist. The shocks flowed through her, but it was more exhilarating than anything else; she practically craved the feeling. When the pair finally separated to breathe, they touched their foreheads together and Darcy smiled.

"Cool."

"Cool," James agreed.

* * *

Bucky kissed Darcy, Darcy kissed Bucky, and Bucky had never been more conflicted in his life. The original excuse for lying was that he figured he'd be protecting her from his baggage, but it had become clear that Darcy didn't need protection, most definitely not from him. Now, the only reason he hadn't told her they were soulmates was that it had been so damn long, she'd never forgive him. 

His attempt to distance himself was half-assed and futile; he was completely head over heels for her and apparently, she'd fallen for him too. Bucky was in too deep and there was nothing he could do or wanted to do about it. But eventually, she'd find out. Soon enough, she'd start asking questions and connect the dots. So he had to tell her. Just maybe not right now. Really, she had just put on her favorite movie, this was no time to-

"James!"

He snapped out of his daze to focus on Darcy's hand waving in front of his face. "Oh! Sorry. Just spaced out."

"S'okay. But pay attention, this is the best part." She smiled up at him, snuggling closer before turning back to the TV. Bucky watched her as she acted out the lines. 

"It means your son's a little creep.

Oh, _my_ son's a creep?

Guys! Just- Walt, he was in the bathroom...

Yeah, he was in the bathroom.

Joylessly masturbating to pictures of dead deer.

Oh, you know what, Richard, you wanna go?

You bet, Skippy, let's go."

Darcy began cracking up at the two men now slap-fighting on-screen and Bucky laughed with her, though he was paying more attention to her than to the film. He listened intently as she went on about all the little details in the movie, what their cinematic purpose was, and the plot twist she said he was going to love. She was right, he did love the plot twist, he loved the whole movie. 

When it ended, Darcy turned the TV off but they both neglected to move. After a few minutes of quasi-cuddling in silence, he decided to at least be honest about one thing. "My name's Bucky."

She made a face and turned to look at him with bleary eyes. "Huh?"

"My name. It's Bucky. Well, my first name is James but no one calls me that."

"Okay..." her head tilted to the side. "Then why did you introduce yourself as James?"

"I'm not really sure? I got nervous and blurted out 'James' and then just never corrected you."

"Huh." She settled down, leaning against him. "The hell kind of name is Bucky?"

Letting out a chuckle, he explained, "It's short for Buchanan. My middle name. James Buchanan Barnes."

Darcy started to laugh and Bucky wasn't sure why. "Oh my god, your name is James Buchanan? You were named after the fifteenth fucking president?"

"I hate you," he jokingly grumbled.

"You so don't."

"I so don't."

She giggled and kissed him before resting back on his chest, falling asleep within minutes.

"We're soulmates," Bucky whispered, both to Darcy and himself. But she didn’t hear it.

* * *

The next morning, Darcy woke up on the couch to see James- no, _Bucky,_ sleeping peacefully. She smiled softly when she noticed the way they had become completely entwined in their sleep, legs and arms tangled. Snuggling up to him comfortably, she closed her eyes again, intending to remain in this position for the rest of the day (or the rest of her life.) 

"Mornin', Darce."

"Good morning." She hummed, "Darce. I like that. Cute."

"I'll call you Darce, then."

"Please do."

They laid there for a minute before Bucky spoke. "Darce."

"Yeah?"

"We have to get up."

"Mm, I don't think we do though."

"You have work."

"Work is dumb," Darcy groaned. Damn Bucky and his holding her accountable for her responsibilities.

"Agreed. But you need to go to it."

"But _why?_ "

"Because if you don't, Pietro is never going to let you live it down."

She was silent for a moment then gently sat up a bit, rubbing her eyes. "What time is it?"

Bucky laughed and pushed himself up to check his phone. "Eight-fifteen."

"Oh _fuck._ " Darcy scrambled off the couch and ran into her bedroom, yelling, "My shift started at eight!" Running between her bedroom and the connected bathroom, she pulled on jeans and a dark teal sweater while brushing her teeth - that level of multitasking was something of talent, really. When she was semi-adequately hygienic, she shoved on her shoes and ran out to Bucky, who was holding out her bag, which she proceeded to take from him with a grateful smile. 

"You can stay and make yourself breakfast or something. There's an extra key by the door. See you in two hours!" At that, she shut the door behind her and sprinted to the elevator.

When Darcy arrived at work, she was met with giggles from her friends and not-so-subtle stares from other coworkers, who somehow all knew about Bucky. When Pietro walked out from the back, she pointed at him and said, "Don't even start."

Raising his hands in a sign of surrender, he replied with a shrug, "Your embarrassment is enough for me."

"I am not embarrassed," she corrected with a glare. "Nothing happened."

"If you say so!"

"I do say so."

For the next two hours, Darcy worked while Pietro followed her around, bugging her. When ten-thirty rolled around, Bucky walked in and made immediate eye contact with Darcy. They both blushed and smiled, which set Pietro off again. "You liar! Something happened and you're going to tell me right now." 

Bucky had already sat down at his table, likely so he could avoid Pietro, which was perfectly understandable. But not successful. Darcy grabbed the coffee and muffin and walked over to Bucky, her friend following closely. When they reached his table, she gave him an apologetic smile before Pietro slid into the chair across from him.

"Exactly what are your intentions with my Darcy?"

"Oh god," she muttered under her breath as Pietro attempted a one-sided staring contest.

"I- what?" Bucky was clearly confused and she really did feel bad for him.

Pietro slapped his hands on the table and leaned forward in his seat. "Look pal, I don't know what is going on here, but I'm going to find out."

"Huh?"

"Pietro _always_ finds out."

"Does he, though?" Darcy grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the seat. "That's enough of that. Bucky, I am so sorry for him," she said over her shoulder as she led her friend away.

"Who the hell is Bucky?"

"Well, you should know. Doesn't Pietro always find out?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> burning faster now !!! please let me know how you liked this chapter & concrit is appreciated :) 
> 
> ps: the movie they were watching is knives out if you didn’t catch that! it’s so good, i make everyone watch it and so does darcy


	8. It's You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is in honor of bucky's 104th birthday and my burning urge to update this story
> 
> the song is hand over hand by roland faunte

"Darce... we're soulmates. I'm your soulmate. You're my soulmate. We are... soulmates together. Fuck." Bucky stood in front of the mirror, trying to figure out how to tell Darcy the truth, preferably in a way that wouldn't get him tased or murdered. 

After last night, lying just wasn't an option anymore. He had been attempting to justify it to himself for so long, but the guilt was weighing heavier by the minute. Bucky couldn't go another day lying to her or himself. By now, he'd all but given up on the notion that telling her would be a life-ending burden. The thought still lingered in the back of his head, but he did his best to rationalize it. If he was a burden, why would she have gone out of her way to spend time with him? Why would she have kissed him? Why would she have planted herself so firmly in his life if he only made her life worse? She didn't know they were soulmates, she wouldn't feel any obligation towards him, and that was really the only upside to the lie. Darcy cared about him because she wanted to, she liked him without even knowing that she was basically fated to. Darcy wanted him regardless of the words on her skin. With any luck, that wouldn't change once he told the truth.

Losing her was a possibility, one that he'd rather not think about. But they were soulmates. Love was meant to find a way. It had to. 

Bucky took a few deep breaths and walked to his door, intending to go see if she was home when someone began knocking quickly. He looked through the peephole and saw that a very fidgety and well-timed Darcy.

The second he opened the door to her, she blurted out, "Jamie Burke."

Well. This can't be good.

* * *

When Darcy arrived at the lab, she found that Jane’s game plan for the day essentially started and ended at staring at a machine and logging its beeps, giving the intern nothing to do. Taking a seat at the least cluttered table, she pulled out her phone to check Twitter. Scrolling through her timeline, she came across a post that caught her eye. It included a link to a blog — _Love, Day By Day_ by Jamie Burke, of all people. Darcy went to the blog immediately, excited for any scraps of Jamie’s writing she could find. The author usually veered towards more dystopian sci-fi novels, but the change in genre intrigued her nonetheless.

After barely a minute of reading intently, Darcy saw a line at the end of Day One that came as a bit of a shock.

_He smiled and looked up into her eyes. "I'm Jamie."_

Huh. So perhaps Jamie was not the inspiring female author that she had thought, but whatever. She read some more.

_“Small black coffee, same as yesterday.”_

Bucky’s signature order.

_Red lipstick and a flick of eyeliner as usual._

Darcy’s signature look.

_A short sky blue a-line dress with white flowers patterned on it._

The dress she had worn to work last month because she was going out with Jane later. What the hell? She frantically read faster.

_Jamie was drinking his coffee and reading a book as always._

The very thing that Bucky did every day.

Holy shit.

Delilah, Darcy. Jamie Burke, James Barnes.

Darcy began to piece it all together in her mind. Whenever she had brought up the author in their conversations, Bucky would tense up. He always seemed to actively avoid talking about work, but it wasn't because he was unemployed like she had somewhat figured, no, his work was anonymous. He was Jamie Burke. Her crush/maybe quasi-boyfriend was also her favorite author. And he wrote a fucking blog about her. Holy. Shit. Darcy opened her mouth to tell Jane, but quickly realized that he had kept it a secret for a reason and telling her friend would be breaking his trust before she even had it. 

"Janey?"

"Yeah, D?"

"Is it okay if I leave early? I have a, uh, personal... emergency... thing. At home. And I need to go there now." She was a remarkably bad liar. Lucky for her, Jane was only half-listening.

"Sure. Be safe. Have fun."

"You're the best!" Darcy grabbed her coat from the back of her chair and scurried out of the lab as fast as her feet would go. She needed answers.

Once she made it to her apartment building, she ran up the stairs, not willing to wait for the elevator. When she reached their floor, she marched straight to Bucky's door and knocked hard. He opened it quickly, a nervous look on his face. Before he could react to her appearance, she cut straight to the chase. "Jamie Burke."

Bucky’s face paled and he swallowed. “What?”

”Jamie Burke. You’re Jamie Burke,” she said matter of factly. 

“Huh?”

Darcy put a hand on the doorframe next to her. “It’s you. I know it’s you. I saw the blog. No way that’s a coincidence.”

”Oh.”

“You wrote a blog about me.” She couldn’t help but blush and grin thinking about it. ”You totally wrote a whole thing about the big fat crush you have on me.”

”Perhaps.” He shifted his weight uncomfortably, looking a bit embarrassed. Darcy, on the other hand, had a smile on her face. 

“You’re so into me. Can I come in?” It was hardly a question; she walked past him before he had the chance to respond. She set her bag and coat down on the console table next to the door.

Looking around the place, she commented, “We basically have the same apartment. Yours is all cool and dark academia-like though, I love it.”

“Oh, thanks. Do you- do you want anything? Water?” Bucky was glancing around anxiously as if something was wrong. Did he really not want her to know that badly?

”Yeah, water’s good. Thanks.”

He avoided looking at her while he grabbed a glass and filled it up. “So... you’re not mad I didn’t tell you?”

Scoffing, Darcy replied, “‘Course not. It’s not exactly public information, like, I imagine it’s a secret for a reason. I would like to have known, obviously, but you weren’t obligated to tell me.“ She tapped her fingers on the kitchen counter and continued, “But, fair warning, I’m basically impossible to keep secrets from. You remember when Pietro said he ‘always finds out?’ Yeah, it’s like that but less stupid.”

Bucky clenched the glass, knuckles almost going white. “Oh, really?”

”Mhmm.”

“Good to know.” He forced a smile and handed her the water, which she accepted gratefully. Bucky was always a little awkward in an endearing way, but this was something else. She was getting concerned.

”Hey, are you okay?” she asked with a furrowed brow. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or if you didn’t want me to know. I didn’t mean to intrude in your business or anything... although I suppose I did literally intrude into your home. Sorry about that too. I was just really surprised, you know? Like, I found out and immediately rushed over here from work so I wasn’t really thinking at all, and I just-“

”Darce,” he interrupted. “It’s okay. You’re good. I’m okay with you knowing as long as you don’t tell anyone else.“

”I wouldn’t,” she clarified, shaking her head as he gave her a small grateful smile. 

“Thank you. I’m surprised too, is all.” He paused, looking down at his shoes before continuing. “Are you... is it okay that I wrote it? About you? I changed a lot but I get it if you think it’s weird. I can take it down if you want.”

“No!” she exclaimed as soon as the words came out of his mouth. “I really like it. It’s sweet. Also, proof that you totally like me.”

Bucky blushed profusely and looked back up at her. “I thought I already made that pretty clear.”

Smiling and sliding closer to him, she smiled. “You did. I believe I did too.”

Darcy was about to kiss him again when his soft smile faded and he averted his eyes again. “Um... Darce, I have something else to tell you. Something you might want to sit down for.” He nodded to the couch.

She frowned, following his gesture. "Okay... are you the Zodiac Killer too? Because honestly, that one might be a dealbreaker."

Sitting down next to her, but a few feet away, he exhaled sharply, almost a laugh. "Not quite." 

"What's going on? Are you okay?" She was growing more worried by the second.

"Yeah, don't worry about me. I'm fine." He took a shaky deep breath. "Okay, so... you might hate me for this. But I can't keep it from you anymore." Darcy opened her mouth to protest, she couldn't imagine ever hating him, but he held up a hand, quieting her. "Just- I need to get this out. All at once." She nodded and Bucky continued. "We both had soulmate dreams that stopped two months ago, right? And whenever we touch, we get those shocks through our bodies, extra intense at our soulmarks."

Darcy knew where this was going, but she kept her mouth shut, just nodding some more. She wanted to hear his side. 

"Just about nine weeks ago, I said your words when I ordered the coffee. And you said mine."

Her heart rate doubled and her mouth dried up.

"We're soulmates, Darcy."

His words repeated over and over in her head. _We're soulmates, Darcy._

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.

All she could manage were two words, practically meaningless.

"It's you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah um. there you go. happy birthday bucky? I'll have another chapter up pretty soon. let me know what you thought <3


	9. Bucky, Steve, & The Darcy Lewis Protection Squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst, self-insert steve, and natasha being right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i honestly have nothing to say uhh have fun? the songs are dancing with your ghost by sasha sloan and maybe we’re meant to be alone by bad suns

“It’s you.” 

Darcy was frozen, staring at the man in front of her, mouth open and eyes wide. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, eyes watering.

“You knew the whole time,” she rasped. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice broke as she asked the question. Bucky wasn’t sure how to answer. Any answer he gave wouldn’t be enough.

”There’s no excuse for it.”

”That’s not an answer.” Her tone was cold, sad, truly unforgiving, a far cry from the anger he heard when she told him off at the café.

“I- I thought I’d be a burden,” he whispered again, just barely loud enough for her to hear.

This only enraged her. “A fucking BURDEN? What the _hell_ is that supposed to mean?” she shouted. 

Wincing at the noise, Bucky closed his eyes and tried to explain. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I was in a dark place and had convinced myself I was doing the right thing by not sticking you with a soulmate like me. Someone with all my issues.”

Darcy was livid, shaking with tears streaming down her face, though she didn’t seem to notice them. “The right thing! You thought you were doing the goddamn right. thing. by lying to me for months! By letting me fall for you and still not telling me!”

Tears fell from his face. “Darce…”

“No!” she cried, standing up on trembling legs. “You don’t get to call me that.” Bucky tucked his head down, taking shaky breaths as Darcy continued. “ _Fuck._ That’s not the right thing, that’s just selfish.”

“I know. Trust me, I know. If I could take it back, I would.”

She let out a sharp laugh, “Yeah, well, too late for that!”

They looked at each other’s tear-streaked faces for a second before Darcy turned her head and they were both silent.

“I- is there anything I can do?” Bucky knew the answer before he asked the question.

“No. I don’t know. Just… leave me alone.” She walked to the door, grabbing her things and muttering, “I can’t do this,” as she left.

The second she was gone, Bucky burst out into sobs. It went more or less exactly how he thought it would, but he didn’t anticipate how horrible it would feel. His heart hurt like it never had before when he faintly heard her crying too. Was this a soulmate thing? Or was it just Darcy?

* * *

Darcy slammed her apartment door behind her and sunk onto the floor, holding a hand over her mouth, trying to muffle her cries with not much luck. She was angry, yes, but even more than that, she was hurt. Bucky had lied to her about this for so long, even when he knew it was hurting her. Darcy wanted to hate him; she _should_ hate him. But hatred wouldn’t come to her, only anger, and sadness, and _longing_ of all things, because she still wanted him. That wasn’t an option. She’d take a night to wallow, then get back to her life as usual — without him in it, at least for now. 

Kicking off her shoes and leaving her bag and coat on the floor, Darcy still cried as she made her way to the bedroom. After changing her clothes, she crawled into bed, sobbing into her pillow until she drifted off into a restless sleep.

The next morning, she woke to a damp pillow and her own tear-stained face, a bit of a downgrade from the last two nights. Trying to shake off all thoughts of Bucky, Darcy took a quick shower before getting ready and heading to work half an hour before the start of her shift.

“Darcy! You’re uncharacteristically early,” Wanda exclaimed, strolling out of her office with her soulmate, Natasha, on her arm. This didn’t make Darcy feel much better about her own situation, considering Wanda and Nat were the most obnoxiously perfect pair of soulmates she had ever seen, a stark contrast to Darcy and the liar-who-shall-not-be-named. Still, she put on a smile.

“Yeah, I woke up a few hours ago and figured I’d be all productive and stuff today.” It wasn’t technically a lie, she was going to be productive, but it was more so because she needed a distraction. She hoped there wouldn’t be any more questions, but then Pietro spotted her and Darcy knew she wouldn’t get away with the lie. He could read her too well.

Unsurprisingly, he walked towards her with a frown. “What did he do?” he asked, putting his hands on her shoulders and searching her face. “I can tell you’re sad, why are you sad?”

Shrugging him off, she denied it and headed to the break room. “He didn’t do anything, I’m not sad, you’re ridiculous.”

Pietro followed her, persisting. “I’m not ridiculous, I’m right. And you’re lying.” 

Darcy dropped her bag onto a couch and flopped down next to it. “Look, it’s nothing, I- I really don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Talk about what?” He sat down right beside her. 

She sighed and mumbled, “He kind of did something.” Pietro wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a hug as her eyes began to well up. Darcy quietly cried into his shoulder for a few minutes while he rested his head on hers. Then Wanda and Natasha walked in.

Darcy had never been as close with Wanda’s soulmate as she was with the twins, though Nat still treated her like one of her own, she was kind of an older cousin to Darcy. Nat was the protective type, so when she saw Darcy sobbing her heart out, she didn’t have pity for her, she was angry. And when Natasha got mad, she got _mad._ “What the hell happened?” she asked, balling up her fists, while Wanda rushed over to join Darcy and her brother on the couch.

Pietro turned his head slightly to look at Nat and simply said, “James.” Hearing this name only upset her more — she hadn’t trusted him from the start, though her only reasoning was that it was a ‘lesbian superpower.’

“What did he do?” she asked in a suddenly steely tone. Darcy slowly separated from Pietro and just shook her head, not ready or willing to say it out loud. 

Nat crouched down in front of her with a reassuring look. “I’m going to murder him,” she said softly.

“ _We’re_ going to murder him,” Pietro corrected. Wanda didn’t say anything, only putting a hand on Darcy’s shoulder, but Darcy knew she was thinking the same thing.

“At least make it fast,” Darcy joked with a sad smile as she stood up. “I don’t want to talk about it now. But I’ll tell you soon.”

Wanda pulled her into another hug and suggested (ordered) that Darcy go upstairs to the apartment she shared with Pietro and take a nap, fix her now-smeared makeup, do whatever she needed. Darcy gratefully accepted the offer and made her way up to the cozy loft, staying there until her shift started

When ten-thirty rolled around, there was no sign of Bucky. A few looks were shared between Wanda, Pietro, and Natasha, but no one said a word. Darcy wasn’t surprised, though she was a little disappointed, and she hated that she felt that way. She didn’t want to see him, but she hated being away from him. Before knowing they were soulmates, Darcy figured it was just a crush, but now she realized it was much more than that. 

“Damn universe,” she muttered.

* * *

Every bone in Bucky’s body was telling him to get up and see his soulmate, but he forced himself to stay inside. He wasn’t really in the mood to be physically attacked by Darcy’s personal protection squad who no doubt hated him. Really, it was understandable — ideally, he’d be the leader of said squad. He hated himself for hurting her, but she had asked him to leave her alone, so there wasn’t much he could do. 

When Bucky heard a knock on his door, he immediately perked up, thinking it was Darcy until reality set in. He opened the door to Steve, who immediately barged past Bucky and into the living room. “So?”

”So... I told her.”

“And?”

”What do you think?”

Steve sighed and hugged his friend tightly. “I’m sorry, Buck.”

“Me too. God, I wish I had just said it when we first met,” Bucky said, letting go of Steve and resting his head on the wall behind him.

”That probably would’ve been a better idea, yeah. But it’s too late. Now we gotta get her back.” Steve was pacing around the room, hands on his hips.

”Stevie, she was pretty clear about not wanting to see me.”

He scoffed and threw his arms up. “Okay, but you’re _soulmates._ Give her a few days, I guarantee she’ll have changed her mind.”

The optimism was exhausting, frankly. Deep down, Bucky knew it wasn’t permanently over what with fate involved, but he knew Darcy well enough to know that it wouldn’t be a few days. “Steve. Be realistic.”

He scrunched his face up in frustration. “A week?”

”Maybe.” _Hopefully._ Darcy was stubborn, she wouldn’t come to him. So it was up to Bucky.

“Okay! I can work with a week!” Steve seemed inappropriately excited for this; he loved playing cupid for Bucky almost as much as he loved too-small shirts. A few years ago, he had tried to set Bucky up with his former landlord. This ended in the man evicting Bucky, so Steve had promised to calm down the matchmaking antics. But these were extenuating circumstances.

”What are you thinking?”

Steve sat down on the couch and rubbed his hands together with determination. “I’m thinking... you get her back?”

Bucky rolled his eyes and lightly banged his head against the wall. “Yeah, but I’m asking how.”

“Uhh... communication. That’s always a good one.”

“Why did I think you could help me?”

Steve shrugged. “I dunno.”

* * *

Darcy had spent the past week overworking herself. Jane had begun to send her home early, she was ahead in all her classes, and her friends were just flat out concerned. 

“Darcy. Running from your problems won’t make them go away.” Natasha had been spending more time at the coffee shop too, which meant Darcy had been getting more unsolicited but annoyingly good advice about Bucky, who had been spending no time at the coffee shop.

”Not with that attitude!” She scrubbed harder at the sticky spot on the counter that wasn’t going away.

Nat sighed. “And when was the last time you went home?”

”Not relevant.”

”Very relevant. You can’t keep away from him forever, and you definitely can’t wear Wanda’s clothes forever.”

Darcy had been staying with Wanda and Pietro as a part of her plan to avoid Bucky like the plague, which unfortunately involved avoiding her apartment like the plague.

“Yes I can.”

”No, you can’t. This isn’t healthy, not to mention you’re going to get someone sick.” She threw her hands up. “Honestly, there’s no point in you even cleaning right now, you’re just getting your germs all over the place.”

“I’m not sick.” Yes, she was sniffling, sweating, and she had a nasty fever, but she wasn’t sick — she was missing her soulmate, which came with almost as many physical symptoms as it did emotional if you stayed away from them too long. It only happened with particularly strong soul-bonds, and that just wasn’t something Darcy had time to think about. She was also itching to go see him. Darcy couldn’t say any of this though, as she had still yet to tell her friends what had happened.

”You’re definitely sick. You look like you’re dying.”

Darcy stopped working on the counter to glare at Nat. “You’re too kind,” she said dryly.

“I know, right? But really, what’s going on?”

”Don’t wanna talk about it,” she said as she left Nat for the break room. 

“You really should, though. You don’t have to tell me, but you need to tell someone,” Nat said, hopping off of the stool she had been sitting on to follow Darcy.

It was too much, the constant questions and concerns from everyone around her. Darcy appreciated the support, but she was overwhelmed and frustration paired with sadness had been building up inside her for a while.

She quickly spun towards Nat and let out what she had been bottling up. ”Fine! He’s my soulmate!” Darcy heard Sharon in the corner choke on her water at that, but continued. “He’s my soulmate, and he lied about it, and I don’t know how to feel about that!” Her eyes began to water while her friend stood there in shock. “And I definitely don’t know what to do about it.”

Pietro and Wanda appeared behind Nat, apparently having overheard them. Wanda rushed over to hug Darcy, Natasha just stood there, and Pietro became visibly angry. He stormed out without saying a word. 

Turning to watch him leave, Nat asked, “Where the hell is he going?”

Darcy sighed. “I’m guessing to pay my neighbor a visit.”

* * *

Bucky and Steve were sitting on the couch, Steve trying to convince Bucky that it had been enough time and he should go surprise (ambush) her at the coffee shop right at that moment and Bucky trying to do anything other than that, when there was a loud knock at the door.

“Darcy!” said Steve. Bucky rolled his eyes and opened the door.

”Oh god,” he blurted out when she saw Pietro’s familiar angry face. “I take it Darcy told you what happened?”

”Yes.”

”And you’re here to kill me?”

”Bingo.” He stepped past Bucky into the apartment. 

“Why do people keep doing that?” Bucky muttered to himself.

Pietro then spotted a confused Steve. “Who are you?”

“I’m Steve. Please don’t kill my friend.”

”Your friend is a liar.”

”True! But he’s also your friend’s soulmate and I imagine she would be real beat up over his death,” Steve reasoned.

Narrowing his eyes, Pietro replied, “Okay, fair. What do you think I should do, then? I can’t not do something.”

“Help me get them back together?”

”Why on earth would I do that?”

”Because Bucky is miserable without her, and I’m willing to bet Darcy is too.” Steve was right, he was miserable.

”I am awfully tired of her crying on my couch every night.”

”What?” Steve and Bucky said in unison.

”She’s been staying with me. You did not know this? She hasn’t been to her apartment in a week, I thought you would’ve noticed.” He had noticed, he just chose to ignore it.

“Right... so you’re going to help us?”

“Fine.”

Steve clasped his hands together and grinned. “Great! Any chance you could get the rest of the Darcy Lewis Protection Squad in on this?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading I have several things to say now:  
> \- I edited the tags so it would be more accurate to where the story has gone, there's a darcy & pietro tag because there's just so much quicktaser bestieism  
> \- it probably won't come up in the story but I just now decided that Darcy is hyperfixating on Jamie Burke because it's my fic and I get to pick the adhd stuff!  
> \- I don't know if you guys are keeping up with the falcon and the winter soldier things but I sure am! a clip was just released where bucky bragged about reading the hobbit in 1937 when it first came out meaning he's canonically a book nerd and I'm so very excited about it.  
> \- lesbian superpowers are real it's true we all have them
> 
> ps: if you comment i’ll be your best friend


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